Terms and Conditions
Humans don’t trust each other anymore. I mean look at the webpages and their Terms and Conditions. Each time you try to open an account with a new service you end up clicking “I agree” without reading the entire blah known as Terms and Conditions. I wonder what will happen if we start including T&C for every mundane portion of our lives:
1. Wife cooks a delicious looking Aloo Paratha and Paneer butter masala on the table. Husband hurries to the table with his mouth watering, only to be shown a 10 page document called T&C to be signed before eating the delicious meal.
2. Newly married couple having a nice conversation during their first night. Suddenly the God of Love showers an excess of flowers on both. The love scent pulls them into the pure divine marital connection, only they pull each other a bundle of sheets titled T&C to be signed before performing the act.
3. A Mother in Labour starts pushing the baby out. The baby wouldn’t come out. The mother tries hard as the doctor and the husband say “Push, Push”. Usually the placenta comes after the child, but this time the placenta comes before with a lot of writings on it titled T&C. The Mother goes (while she keeps pushing) “arghhhhhhhhh …. I ….arghhhhhhh…..agreee…..arghhhhhhh” and then the baby is born.
4. You had an awesome andhra meals for dinner last night. So you are woken up 7AM sharp in the morning due to the effect of the spice in the meals and you are rushing to the bathroom to attend the nature’s call. You sit on the commode and try to let go, but nothing comes. The commode’s seat has T&C written all over it and a sensor that will sense your voice. You hurriedly get up and dance on your feet as the bowel tries to rush out, and you say “I agree” to the commode. As soon as you say that and sit down on the commode, the flow begins and you feel relieved.
5. Touser pandi Ramarajan gets ready to Milk the cow in his usual way. He sings the song “Shenbagame … Shenbagame…”. The cow refuses to give milk. He thinks may be the cow is sick and tired of hearing the same song, so he remixes it and sings it in the hip hop style “ooh ahh oh shenbagame …ooh aah oh shenbagame!”. Still no milk. In a few seconds the Cow goes Moo and releases a full roll of tissue paper from its rear that reads its T&C. Ramarajan goes “Ooh aahh oh shenbagame … I agree… ooh aah oh shenbagame I agree”. The Milk is on!
And finally how can we be sure that the end user has read the Terms and Conditions? We all usually just skip and click the I agree anyway. So just to make sure we are covered we will throw in another Terms and Conditions that states that “Make sure you read the Terms and Conditions in Full.” and request if they agree or do not agree.
Finally Here is a Brainstuck Cartoon on T&C.
tissue paper from rear? wo gaad ganesha!
is all the salad makin you think like this?
No I think it is the weekly dose of Cabbage, since you know Cabbage tastes like Paper or Starched Cloth!
hahahahaha…..
that was very funny
-Swapna
Thank you Honey, But please don’t get any idea from this and start typing a 100 page T&C that I have to sign before tonight’s dinner
Hmmn. Maybe if you try to shut down a particular body orifice, a message floats up, “You are trying to close this @$$hole. Are you sure you want to exit? Yes/No/No, I’m not sure, call Mummy!”
“@$$hole” – is that the Hole where you will get all the $$ Money??? He he, I never thought of this option – No, I’m not sure, call Mummy!
.”Wife cooks a delicious looking Aloo Paratha and Paneer butter masala on the table. Husband hurries to the table with his mouth watering, only to be shown a 10 page document called T&C to be signed before eating the delicious meal.”
Come on ! The terms and conditions are implicit !! Implied terms are that the Aloo and Paneer would taste as bad. And you better agree to saying it was ‘nice’ inorder to receive more of it. Or some form of it. And the contract from the husbands side : i need regular food…
And so on. When the flowers get showered, on the edge of marital bliss….( that was some imagination though), ofcourse there is an implicit contract.
And touser pandi..gets to milk the cow, in his own terms !! He always has. With songs, music and dance. That one there is no implicit or explicit contract thats required !!
So much for contracts. Had a good laugh !
Thank you. But the implicit contracts are so 1.0. This is the next generation Contract system, it is Contract 2.0. It is just not enough to tie a Mangal sutra with 3 knots, we have to go and sign at the registrar office to get legally married. But hey it is a one time deal, so you don’t have to sign every time, you can just click “Remember my password” and you browser will keep you logged on!
Now, where was I?
The commode thingy was shit, may be for obvious reasons. But terms and conditions should be on the bathroom door esp. for men(as women say) and you must agree to them before going ahead.
@rambodoc and when you trying to open certain things. …. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mivM7vrQKmc
What if it is an attached bathroom, you will have to agree/disagree even for taking a shower or shaving! So it has to be specifically in the commode! he he
You do have wild imagination!!
I think I signed a Contract with God before he created me, I had to oblige to being wildly imaginative
I second Sakhi’s comment [:)]
Thank you both!
You write a blog. People try to comment. They press the submit button and out comes the T&C , which states that the comment has to be positive, preferably with smileys attached.
Hey I never wrote that T&C for Commenting
May be for Spammers! Thank you 
I hereby agree I have just commented on Dinesh’s post on 18,000 RPM and have found it very imaginative. Another story that the Submit Comment button would not be activated unless I added ‘imaginative’.
g
You mean the Captcha word verification came up with the word “Imaginative” ?
@Dinesh: enna koduma sir idthu!
man ur imaginations I tell u
T’s and C’s SUCK !
@rambodoc : LOL
@ Anshul: LOL I have seen that video a couple of years ago! good one.
Thank you
Yeah T&C do suck!
oh yeah… hopefully this never occurs… T&C are such a pain in the butt!
Ha ha , Can’t imagine how life would be if it begins to occur!
I am ready to put a positive comment here if you agree to my terms and conditions which I have mailed you. Please return a scanned copy with your signature.
Would you like the scanned copy signed in triplicate and attested by a Gazetted public notary officer and approved by the village administrative officer and tashildar
ROTFL….. If you want to make things even more desperate and exciting, have some “fine print” somewhere. Thats the spicy part of the T and C. …
Wow, that’s an exciting idea. May be we can hide that fine print somewhere and you have to find it and read it before you can do it. Like in the commode thingy we can hide the fine print on the flush handle! Boy that will be some exciting stuff!
But but, you just commented, did you not check the box to accept terms before doing that?
Scope of you rmind has no T&C…
Fabulous.
A lots of people’s scope of mind has no T&C, they just think that they are in one!
Sounds to me like Windows Vista.
MAN! I HATE that stupid OS. I get pissed off just thinking about it.
Actually it is a lot better than Windows Vista. Vista is like this:
1. You are taking your first bite of your food Allow/Deny/Cancel
2. You are taking your second bite of your food Allow/Deny/Cancel
… and so on!
So very right.
“You are coming to a sad realization. Cancel/Allow?”
Remember the Getamac ad?
This one is my favorite. 
boy …. this is what i wud call toooooooooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
btw …. if nobody is reading the T&C doesnt it mean that they trust each other so much
abt the situations:
1. there is anyway an implied T&C here, isnt it?
2. Isnt a pre-nuptial agreement something like this?
3. ahhhh …
4 & 5. arent we talking abt human beings here …. u cant include comode and cows here
he he I know this is too much, that is why I blogged it. This blog is all about too much stuff!
if nobody is reading the T&C doesnt it mean that they trust each other
No, they are just lazy and they just think that the T&C makers are just idiots!
there is anyway an implied T&C here, isnt it?
There is implied T&C everywhere, it is more fun when u bring it out explicitly!
Isnt a pre-nuptial agreement something like this?
Almost. What the heck, it is exactly what it is!
arent we talking abt human beings here …. u cant include comode and cows here
Yes Humans only, After all it is Humans who made the Commode and Humans who rear the Cows, Ok you got me! But I just wanted it to be funny!
Andhra meals and the Dance OMG !!
that was really funny
I hope i’m not given another TOC to post my comment
Thank you
T&C is implied for the comments! There is a bot that checks it, No am kidding, Seriously!
hahahaha… crazy imagination i see is at play here!! esp the Ramarajan one!!!
Where else can one put his/her crazy imagination other than a blog!
Nice one! And you made me wonder how many terms of conditions i have accepted without ever bothering to look at what i was agreeing to!
Dont we all say I agree without reading even a single word all the time, even if Google says “THis is not he regular mumbo jumbo”!
does anyone ever read these long t&c websites have before signing up?