YES or NO

Sometimes there are questions for which the only possible answers are Yes or No. For example, “Do you want Samosa?”. The answer is “Yes, I am a sucker for Samosas” or “No, Samosas Suck!”.

But is it that simple? Let us ask a Man first.

What does it mean when a Man says Yes ?

1. Yes, I can do it, even thought I don’t know to do it.

2. He said Yes, so I say Yes. Beer pressure, I mean peer pressure.

3. God definitely doesn’t know, but it is a Yes.

4. Yes. That’s it, what else you want!

What does it mean when a Man says No?

1. No. That’s it, he is really exhausted and he really means no, so leave him alone. Let him watch some TV.

Now it is Women’s turn.

What does it mean when a Woman says Yes?

1. Yeah right. If a woman says a straight yes, please leave me a message after the beep.

What does it mean when a Woman says No?

1. No. But why don’t you try to figure out!

2. No in Antartican language means “Yes”, too bad you misunderstood me because you don’t know Antartican.

3. Ha ha, it may be both 1. or 2. Like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. It is there and not there.

4. God only knows. But I won’t tell you which God. 33 Crore Gods in Hindu religion alone, you are stuck my man!

5. I know because I am God.

6. Not enough choice.

Men, If you are hurt by this post say “YES”. Women, If you are hurt by this post, say anything, because I am not going to know the real meaning anyway!

– Smiley added just to make sure that this post is written in lighter vein and that I was just Kidding. “Yes”, I was just kidding.

Logical Classification

We all know there are two kinds of Sex – Men and Women (What did you think?). For the sake of simplicity I will not be considering the third kind in this post, no offense to them. Being a Computer Engineer who carefully works out his problems for days before strategically placing that one single if statement in a sea of millions of lines of codes, I devoted 2 whole minutes to categorize the logic with which Men and Women work.

Men Follow Binary Logic.

In Binary there are only 2 states – 0 or 1. You can also call it Off or On. Pretty straightforward and simple. Here are some examples to prove why Men follow Binary logic:

1. Do you like Electronics?

Mostly the answer is Yes. But if it is not the case then it is usually a simple No.

2. What would you like for Lunch?

Whatever you cook honey. You always cook well. (Or) I need Hyderabadi Biryani today, I mean what’s with Sambar Rice and Spinach on Mondays eh!

3. Shall we have Pizza tonight?

Sure. (This is a very easy question and will be answered quicker if beer is allowed to be consumed with Pizza).

4. Are you going to wear a Blue shirt or Red Shirt to the party?

The answer will be Blue or Red, Men stay within choices most of the time.

5. Would you like a Macbook or iPod Touch?

The answer will be Both, It is still within the choices though.

Women Follow Fuzzy Logic.

In Fuzzy logic there are more than 2 states. It is not just On or Off, but it can be anything from slightly on to extremely on and slighty off to extremely off, including completely on and completely off. If you feel this explanation is fuzzy then that is what is called Fuzzy logic. Let’s look at the same examples:

1. Do you like Electronics?

Not all of them, I mean sure iPods are cool, but what’s with this 802.11n router? I just hate its color and what’s the deal with big TVs, Men are always obsessed with Big things. (Now was this a yes or no?)

2. What would you like for Lunch?

You mean you are going to cook now? That is so sweet of you. Thank you so much honey. Unless, you are trying to prove that you can cook better than me. Are you trying to challenge me? Oh we will see how that goes.  (The Man was actually meaning to say, which restaurant she would prefer, but oh well!)

3. Shall we have Pizza tonight?

Pizza is not good for health. We shouldn’t have Pizza. I hate that particular place anyway. I like it in this specific restaurant. (So, are we having the Pizza or not?).

4. Are you going to wear a Blue dress or Red dress?

Hmmm, How about if I wear a pink one? Oh wait I know I will wear that light Green salwar. I think I need more dress. (What happened here?)

4. Would you like a Macbook or iPod Touch?

Ooh, you know what. I love that pink iPod nano. I will have that. (For God’s sake I was gonna get you a Macbook!).

Now let’s ask a few questions to Men and Women:

MEN:

1. Will you be offended by this post?

It will be a Yes or No.

2. What are the chances that this blogger is going to be flamed by Women?

Oh! He is dead meat!

WOMEN:

1. Will you be offended by this post? I am not sure, I mean it was funny but some of it is cliched though. I might excuse him but I am enraged that he used Pink two much. We like other colors too.

2. What are the chances that this blogger is going to be flamed by Women?

Oh! He is Dead Meat!

Well, atleast Men and Women have the same logic for the last question. Either way, I am Dead Meat!

Per Reema’s Request, I am inserting this funny cartoon that exactly portrays what I said. Thanks Reema!