From the batter to the griddle, It takes a nice pair of hands to make a thin crisp and tasty Dosa. By Soaking the right portions of Idli Rice and whole Urad Dal and running them in the grinder and fermenting it overnight you get the batter (Maavu). But that involves a standard procedure and chances are the fluid of the Dosa Batter is going to be uniform in the way it looks externally, at least for an entire batch.
The thing that does not get noticed is that each scoop of the batter makes a different dosa. Dosas are not exactly circle each time and not of the exact same diameter if it is a circle. Some are fried well, some aren’t as much. They are not uniformly fried too, some portions are more brownish than elsewhere. Some Dosas have more holes than the other. Yet, they all taste similar and good. They provide us with a great sense of satisfaction, quenches our hunger and gives us energy. This my friend is what I am referring to as the Art of Making Dosa.
The Art of Making Dosa is picking up the right amount of batter in the scoop, wiping out the excess from the bottom of the scoop, moving the scoop to the griddle (Tava) following a precise trajectory so that it doesn’t spill as tiny dots on the Tava, pouring it on the Tava and working the circular motion of your hand at the precise speed to get it to the right thinness. You will only have a few seconds the moment the batter touches the tava, to work your way into the thin crisp circle. The right amount of oil needs to be applied on the surface and you will need to let it cook for the right amount of time before peeling it off. If you make a dosa the exact same way each time, you are either highly experienced or you are a Robot. With so much of uncertainty involved in making of a dosa, it can sure enough draw some interesting uses of the uncertain dosa.
I can imagine how some of the applications for “Uncertainty of Dosa” will be:
Dosa Weather Forecast:
The head of the weather department will have dosa for breakfast, but before eating it he will pass it through a computer (a robotic one). The scanner will do a 3D scan of the dosa and will spit out several information on the monitor:
0.3 mm thin – indicates 30% chances of rain
Deep fried brown color on the bottom side – Indicates a hot bright sunny afternoon
159 tiny holes indicate a hailstorm in the evening (< 150 means no hailstorm)
Spiral shape looks exactly as a Hurricane so there will be a hurricane today be prepared.
By the way, always buy Maan mark idli rice not Sangu mark. Maan mark is the best brand available in the virtual cyber blogosphere in weatherland. Sangu mark is famous for something else okva!
The unnamed astrologer walks into the BMTC bus. He is a famous Dosa astrologer (DA), one who predicts with the dosa cooked by his clients. He walks with his mini electric cooker with griddle all the time. So it was a fairly relaxing sunday afternoon and that particular BMTC bus was running almost empty. A short guy with glasses was sitting at the end of the bus with his friend. There wasn’t anyone else.
The bus conductor Mr. Rao asks the astrologer about the electric cooker. DA tells him he can predict future by looking at dosa, and asks Rao to cook one on the Tava.
Rao says, “That god tells me to do this, and so I am doing it.”
Rao cooks a neat thin circular dosa perfectly fried. DA looks at it and starts counting with his fingers looking alternatively at the dosa and Rao’s face.
“You will be the greatest actor in the history of the Tamil Film industry”
“Muha haha haha ha, what sir jokinga? I am a Marathi, living in Bangalore as a Bus conductor, How can I become a Tamil film actor?”.
“My Dosa Astrology never goes wrong” says the DA.
Rao stylishly grabs the dosa and throws it with his right hand on to his left hand and the dosa quickly bounces off and lands in his mouth. He stylishly munches the dosa and goes “Muha haha haha”.
The short guy in glasses walks to Rao and says “Would you like to act in a Tamil Movie? I like your style. My name is K.B, what is yours?”
“Shivaji Rao Gaekwad”
“From now, you will be called Rajinikanth!”
The DA goes “Like I said, My Dosa Astrology never goes wrong”.
Replace the rotating spindle with the Dosa cooked by the patient.
Ambi cooks a fine dosa and gives it to Dr. Nasser. Nasser puts it on the spindle and spins it.
“Please concentrate on this spinning dosa disc Ambi, what do you feel?”
“Dei baadu, Dosaiya partha ennada feel agum? Pasikkum da!”
(You Idiot, If you see a Dosa you will feel hungry, what else will you feel?)
“Who are you?”
“Naan thaanda Anniyan! Naan sapadra dosai Onion!” (I am anniyan, Dosa i eat is Onion).
Nasser now gets Ambi’s girl friend Nandini, to cook a dosa and shows it to Ambi. “Now what do you feel?”
“Oh Dosa, Dosa is love, Love is Nandi. You love a woman, tell her that she is the one, You love a woman then tell her that her dosa tastes good”
“Who are you now?”
“You are kidding man, I am Remo, Ramp walk model, Flower seller, Rava dosa eater!”
Nasser then speaks to Nandini: “This is a confirmed case of MBD – Meenakshi Bhavan Dosa disorder. This is caused by eating various variety of Dosas in one order from Meenakshi Bhavan. The only cure is feed him only one kind of dosa. Only you should cook and give it to him.”
Nandini “But will he try to cook a dosa by himself and become Anniyan?”
“Well, if you cook the dosa tastily then he won’t interfere in cooking and Anniyan will never need to come back again to cook his Onion dosa.”
And thus my friend the uncertainty of a dosa has affected the life of so many Dosa eating population all around the world and hence the making of dosa has remained an art.