We all know that when there is a new Tech gadget in the horizon people line up lusting for it days before its release. Game consoles like PS3, XBOX 360 and Wii all went through that and iPhone is no stranger to this phenomenon. People lined up for iPhone 1.0 as much as 1 week before the launch. iPhone 3G is also going through the same demand and we see people lining up for the gadget from Newzealand (Who will be the first to get the iPhone, with regards to Timezone) to Newyork City, already for the friday July 11th launch.
I already wrote about how iPhone would play an important role in Indian Politics. It is now time to ponder over the concept of an iPhone line before the launch. Will we, as Indians in India do the same? Will we line up for iPhone in the Malls, at Airtel booths? Here are somethings that can happen around the concept of iPhone lines in India.
– First of all, there will be no line. There will be lines as in Plural. People will start their own line in their own direction complying to Vaastu shastra. It will just be a bunch of people waiting to barge in as soon as the doors swing open. The line will actually be a pseudo line. It will be so random, Apple can use it as a tagline for its iPod Shuffle – “Line is Random”.
– The first few in the line will know that the line is for iPhone and then the rest would be standing there just out of curiosity as to why the place is so crowded, which generates more marketing hype. As Tamil Comedian Vivek says “If there is crowd anywhere, we have to go there to watch what is happening. This is our culture!”
– Roadside tea shops and Idli shops will erupt in order to cash in on the adhoc business that the crowd would generate. The prices will be steadily inflated as the crowd grows and as people need to stick to their spot if they had any dream of holding their position. 20% of the revenue will go the local dhadha and 10% will go to the local R1 police station.
– In order to generate more demand, the local marketing whiz kids would announce a free movie ticket for the first show of the latest Rajinikanth Flick Kuselan for every iPhone purchase, which will result in Rajinikanth fans erecting a cut out of the superstar holding the iPhone, near the mall and perform rituals like Paal Abishekam, Garlanding, Falling at his feet and bursting fire crackers.
– To control the crowd, a special delegate of personnels will arrive from Tirumala Tirupathi to lend their experienced pair of hands. They will be employed near every turn of the serpentine queue and at the Mall entrance and will be found practicing the word “Jarigandi” “Jaragandi” (which means Keep moving).
The real scene will start when the gates are open. People will start pushing from the back of the line even though there is absolutely no possibility of movement in the front. The above mentioned Queue Handling personnels will strictly restrict 10 seconds to each person within which the person will be given the iPhone and billed, before uttering the word “Jarigandi” “Jaragandi”.
The only chance of surviving in the queue will be to just stand where you are and let yourself be pushed and carried through the line till you enter the gate for your 10 seconds of iPhone darshan and retreival. Any attempt to fool the system or work your way around it will either result in serious injuries or be thrown out of the queue, after which you will have to join the queue from the end and repeat the process all over again.
The ordeal will be so painful than listening to Vogon Poetry and as time goes by you will simply accept the fact of being in the queue and will just hold your wallet in the back pocket of your jeans at an awkward position, to fend off the pick pocketers and keep moving.
Yes, In India, the line always keeps moving, whether you do or not.