Diwali in US happens in a very simple way. Usually the closest weekend is taken up as Diwali and a party happens at someone’s place. The party involves some food, and more food and then a lot more food. So the Diwali party on Sunday at my friend’s place went by the same way.
There was a huge lineup of sweets – Bread Halwa, Wheat Halwa, Motichur Laddu, Jamun. Of all the sweets, the significant one was Halwa. Yes, this Diwali we were all given Halwa. The term “To give Halwa” is well known in Tamil Nadu for a different reason. Let me illustrate the second meaning of the phrase with a few examples.
1. When the gas prices shot up like the SLV rocket, the brilliant business minds put forward a deal to customers buying cars in US. You buy their car and they will give you guaranteed $3 Gas Price even if the prices go up. So the customers thinking that very soon the gas prices will go up to $10 per gallon, signed the deal for $3 gas and bought the cars. Unfortunately, gas prices have fallen down to about $2.15 now which means their $3 gas deal is worth nothing. In other terms these customers were given Halwa by the car dealers. I pity them really.
2. You go to a much promising multi starrer Bollywood movie – Hrithik, Abishek, Aish expecting it to be exactly like Dhoom. But it turns out to be a disaster and you come out with the same old comment “Sequels are not always good”. In this case, the Movie producers/directors have given Halwa to the Audience.
3. The classic case of giving Halwa is from the “Boy loving Girl, Girl loving another Boy” Love story. In fact, this is where the term Halwa is used a lot. Girl tells the Boy that she likes him very much. Boy replaces the word ‘like’ with ‘Love’ and dreams about her, makes love to her, marries her, has 10 kids and 38 grand kids all in one dream sequence. The next day the girl insists I like you very much, but I am in love with your hot hunky friend, can you help me get to him? In an audible distance, the bursting of a transformer sound is heard and the boy’s heart is broken into 1000 pieces. The Girl has successfully given Halwa to the Boy.
The following are the laws of Halwa:
1. If a person is vulnerable to be given Halwa, then he/she will definitely be given Halwa at some point of time.
2. For every Halwa given, there is no equal and opposite Halwa unfortunately. So there is no possibility of the affected, being able to give back the same Halwa to the Source. You can try a different one.
3. The system of Halwa giving and receiving is unaltered unless acted upon by an external force, which has to be another Halwa giver or receiver.
If you do not understand the above laws, then you are vulnerable to be given Halwa at some point of time, So please read carefully and mug up!
The main dish had a lot Chicken. Sorry, there were a lot chicken which had main dish in them. Chicken Biryani, Chicken Kuruma, Chicken Fry you name the dish it was there with Chicken. By the end of the party, I am sure the entire Chicken race should have been extinct. If you are still having chicken it is either the last batch or a new breed of teenage mutated ninja Chickens.
Finally, we were desserted with a new innovative way of turning you ‘over’overweight – Fried Banana Icecream. It was delicious and I couldn’t help myself having it the second time. It was basically Banana, fried with some flour and topped with a scoop of Vanilla Ice cream. Fried Banana Icecream Rocks! But it turned my (Relatively) Rock Hard (Six pack) abs into Flowery soft round Michelin tyre. Hence the following comic:
It will now take me a full year to go back to Six Pack Surya. But then there will be another Diwali and I will be back to Michelin Muniyandi in 1 day.
Diwali is always Delicious!