Posted in Humour

Logical Classification

We all know there are two kinds of Sex – Men and Women (What did you think?). For the sake of simplicity I will not be considering the third kind in this post, no offense to them. Being a Computer Engineer who carefully works out his problems for days before strategically placing that one single if statement in a sea of millions of lines of codes, I devoted 2 whole minutes to categorize the logic with which Men and Women work.

Men Follow Binary Logic.

In Binary there are only 2 states – 0 or 1. You can also call it Off or On. Pretty straightforward and simple. Here are some examples to prove why Men follow Binary logic:

1. Do you like Electronics?

Mostly the answer is Yes. But if it is not the case then it is usually a simple No.

2. What would you like for Lunch?

Whatever you cook honey. You always cook well. (Or) I need Hyderabadi Biryani today, I mean what’s with Sambar Rice and Spinach on Mondays eh!

3. Shall we have Pizza tonight?

Sure. (This is a very easy question and will be answered quicker if beer is allowed to be consumed with Pizza).

4. Are you going to wear a Blue shirt or Red Shirt to the party?

The answer will be Blue or Red, Men stay within choices most of the time.

5. Would you like a Macbook or iPod Touch?

The answer will be Both, It is still within the choices though.

Women Follow Fuzzy Logic.

In Fuzzy logic there are more than 2 states. It is not just On or Off, but it can be anything from slightly on to extremely on and slighty off to extremely off, including completely on and completely off. If you feel this explanation is fuzzy then that is what is called Fuzzy logic. Let’s look at the same examples:

1. Do you like Electronics?

Not all of them, I mean sure iPods are cool, but what’s with this 802.11n router? I just hate its color and what’s the deal with big TVs, Men are always obsessed with Big things. (Now was this a yes or no?)

2. What would you like for Lunch?

You mean you are going to cook now? That is so sweet of you. Thank you so much honey. Unless, you are trying to prove that you can cook better than me. Are you trying to challenge me? Oh we will see how that goes.Β  (The Man was actually meaning to say, which restaurant she would prefer, but oh well!)

3. Shall we have Pizza tonight?

Pizza is not good for health. We shouldn’t have Pizza. I hate that particular place anyway. I like it in this specific restaurant. (So, are we having the Pizza or not?).

4. Are you going to wear a Blue dress or Red dress?

Hmmm, How about if I wear a pink one? Oh wait I know I will wear that light Green salwar. I think I need more dress. (What happened here?)

4. Would you like a Macbook or iPod Touch?

Ooh, you know what. I love that pink iPod nano. I will have that. (For God’s sake I was gonna get you a Macbook!).

Now let’s ask a few questions to Men and Women:

MEN:

1. Will you be offended by this post?

It will be a Yes or No.

2. What are the chances that this blogger is going to be flamed by Women?

Oh! He is dead meat!

WOMEN:

1. Will you be offended by this post? I am not sure, I mean it was funny but some of it is cliched though. I might excuse him but I am enraged that he used Pink two much. We like other colors too.

2. What are the chances that this blogger is going to be flamed by Women?

Oh! He is Dead Meat!

Well, atleast Men and Women have the same logic for the last question. Either way, I am Dead Meat!

Per Reema’s Request, I am inserting this funny cartoon that exactly portrays what I said. Thanks Reema!

men-and-women-switches1

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Author:

I am a Software Engineer by profession. My interests are in Computers, Science, Technology, Movies, Music, Photography and Writing. I love to do a lot of things, but am still searching for the ultimate thing that I can love to do. You will find here all the volcanic outbursts of my creative side as I explore the world through my perspective. Well, mainly fun, what's world without any fun!

25 thoughts on “Logical Classification

  1. 1. There are more kinds of sex. Without going into too much detail, let’s just call them Good and Bad. (You knew someone had to say that :P)

    2. You used pink only twice. I’m offended. We like pink on everything – even on pink. We have one of everything in pink. In fact, you should have block-quoted women’s answers in pink.

    3. Will you be dead meat? If I hadn’t used “I’m offended” earlier, I would have liked to use it now. But I’m offended. What is dead meat anyway? You won’t bear the brunt of it if you were dead meat, you’d be dead and blissful. How did you even think women will give that brief an answer and let you get away with it? How could you answer for women?

    That really was a funny post πŸ™‚ And you’re dead meat.

    -g

    PS: Remind me later to define funny πŸ˜›

  2. I totally agree with you on the logic behind each sex. Now,
    Q: Are you a dead meat or not?
    A: Yes to many and no to me (is it yes or no, now?) :))
    Another great post from u!

  3. Reema – Thanks for the cartoon, had a nice laugh πŸ™‚

    Whacky
    asynchronous logic often applies to the ladeej
    and Men would be Synchronous logic, but the only thing is they try to synchronize with Woman, who
    are asynchronous.

    Apar
    Yes! you are dead meat πŸ™‚ lol
    I am still alive, but I had meat yday πŸ™‚

    Funny though cliched! (sorry could not resist πŸ˜‰ )
    Being funny itself is cliched, but it is always fun πŸ™‚

    Maxdavinci
    i’m gonna keep checking this comment thread now, boy it’s gonna be fun!
    Isn’t that always the best part, the comments πŸ™‚ Although, I think I need to write more controversies, my reader’s comments length is decreasing. Pretty soon, all I might get is LOL or ROFL.

  4. Gauri
    There are more kinds of sex. Without going into too much detail, let’s just call them Good and Bad.
    Phew! Thank god for not going into details, I wanted to keep this blog atleast at PG13.

    You used pink only twice. I’m offended. We like pink on everything – even on pink.
    The very reason I think, Pepto Bismol and Digene are targetted only for Women. Men have beer for
    indigestion πŸ™‚

    In fact, you should have block-quoted women’s answers in pink.
    That’s true, I didn’t think of that. Pinky swear!

    What is dead meat anyway?
    Obviously when you are dead, you cannot eat meat. That’s what Dead meat is.

    How did you even think women will give that brief an answer and let you get away with it?
    You mean, get away with my brief? I will be thankful if they let me go atleast with my brief πŸ™‚

    How could you answer for women?
    There was this ghost, a woman ghost that entered me and She wrote it using my fingers.

    That really was a funny post πŸ™‚ And you’re dead meat.
    Thank you πŸ™‚

    Remind me later to define funny
    When people have fun like a bunny, it is called funny.

    Amreekandesi – Thank you πŸ™‚

    Rads
    Yikes! I don’t wish you dead meat, and I have definite answers to most.
    So nice, Thank you πŸ™‚

    Lord, I am extremely worried now. 😐
    That gives me a good topic to write on, “Women are a worried lot.”

  5. Raji – Thank you πŸ™‚

    Vishesh
    but then it can get complicated in men too…
    Obviously, If this is the way Women answer the questions, imagine how their questions will be. It is very complicated for Men to answer those.

    Chiranjib
    P-E-R-F-E-C-T
    T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U πŸ™‚

    Hari – Thank you πŸ™‚

    Shivya
    But let’s face it, fuzzy logic keeps you entertained at all times, no?
    Yup, it is entertaining πŸ™‚

    Arvind – Thank you πŸ™‚

  6. Ha!
    Men are lazy to think and answer and just give yes or no. it is they who invented objective type questions. They evn want you to give answer choices for eve

  7. oops.
    I think this comment box is partial to men. it stopped me halfway before i could complete the comment.
    But no technology is going to stop me from having my say.
    So here goes:
    Ha!
    Men are lazy to think and answer and just give yes or no. it is they who invented objective type questions. They even want you to give answer choices for every question you ask them. Look at the sms lingo they invented. The world is going to hell in a hand basket because of me.
    Oh btw, what was the question? yes, about responses.
    Men are plain lazy.
    Women, ah that wonderful species!
    Women take every question seriously, think, analyse and give an adequate response.They also use it efficiently to insert information that you routinely ignore while burying yourself under those piles of newspaper or while reading maps or watching sundry useless games on TV. So the purpose is to communicate NOT just answer your single question.

  8. Whoa, this is a conspiracy here:
    The world is going to hell in a hand basket because of me.
    I meant
    The world is going to hell in a hand basket because of MEN.

  9. datsme
    Who says cliches are not funny anymore… πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
    Exactly, Otherwise you can’t call it a cliche πŸ™‚

    Usha
    Men are lazy to think and answer and just give yes or no.
    We are lazy and we don’t think, but there is no relation between laziness and thinking πŸ™‚

    I think this comment box is partial to men.
    No, it is partial to Women and Full to Men πŸ™‚

    it stopped me halfway before i could complete the comment.
    It was expecting a yes or no, but you must have tried to overflow the buffer.

    it is they who invented objective type questions.
    Ok, I need choices for this.

    They even want you to give answer choices for every question you ask them.
    I just proved this point above πŸ™‚

    Look at the sms lingo they invented.
    wat do u mean? lol, dats funny πŸ™‚

    Oh btw, what was the question? yes
    Gotcha, you replied a simple Yes … whooo hooo!

    Men are plain lazy.
    Sometimes we are also special saada lazy and Masala Lazy πŸ™‚

    Women, ah that wonderful species!
    Yes, I have seen Species, all the 3 parts.

    So the purpose is to communicate NOT just answer your single question.
    So the choices are Read Maps, Watch Sundry games, Read Newspaper, Think. I am going to choose watch sundry games πŸ™‚

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