The Body Builder

Suresh was getting ready for his Mr. Madras body building competition. He was very fit, had nice bulging biceps and V-shaped body. He was honest in his body building and used no shortcuts like steroids to get where he is right now. He knows the evil effects of steroids and has avoided it ever since he started this.

With 7 days to go to the competition, Suresh was getting a little bit nervous. He usually wakes up by 6 AM and after a brief warm up session and a few raw eggs, he goes to the Gym and gets trained by his master. He evenly spreads out his exercises – curls, presses and weight lifting and keeps hydrated throughout the 2 hour long session. He follows it up with a nice healthy breakfast. He doesn’t eat 1 lunch but splits it into two and has one at 11AM and another at 2 PM. His dinner is also spread into 2 one at 5PM, and then at 8PM.

It was another day of routine for him as he woke up at 6 AM. He heads to the bathroom, spits and takes a leak in the commode as he wanders his mind around how he was going to go about the competition. The urine flowed out of his body making the noise of a stream of water hitting a pool at an intensity that showed how tall he was. He relaxed as he took a deep breath. As he came out of his thought train he noticed there was a chunk of blood floating in the commode. Blood! He panicked.

It is said that if you take Anabolic Steroids to build your body, the first few symptoms of its effects are bleeding when you pee. Suresh was scared now, he hasn’t taken any steroids. He has taken protein supplements and has a very uncommon diet. He wasted no time and he rushed himself to the doctor.

Suresh: I don’t take any steroids, but I saw blood this morning in my urine.

Doc: Don’t worry, we will take these blood tests and we can find out what has happened. You will get the results in a day, you can come back tomorrow at 8 AM.

Suresh was very worried. His entire body building and perhaps his life is now hanging in balance. That night he didn’t sleep properly. He had nightmares of seeing himself bald, sick and dying. He didn’t know what it would feel like with the testosterone level as low as a 12 year old girl, but he couldn’t sleep at the thought of that. But he didn’t have steroids and hence he was not worried as much as he would if he had had.

Suresh waited for the night to go by. It was the longest night he ever spent in his life. The next morning he rushed to the hospital without showering, eating. He saw blood in his urine even today.

Doc: The results have come Suresh. They all look normal. Your liver is functioning very well. You have nothing to be afraid of.

Suresh: But Doc, I saw blood even today. Please help me, I have a competition to go to in a week.

Suresh went close to the doctor and pleaded. The doctor moved away as his breath was stinking.

Doc: Let me see your teeth. Say eee and aaa!

Suresh was bewildered but did what he said.

Doc: Do you spit in the commode?

Suresh: I don’t remember, may be I do!

Doc: Your gums are inflammed and bleeding. You must be seeing that blood in the morning as you spit. You need to see a dentist!

Suresh laughed out loud. He couldn’t believe it. It was his teeth. His teeth was inflammed and he was glad it was just his teeth. He was relieved and happy. Compared to what it could have been, inflammed gums was nothing to him. He ran out of the hospital excited.

In a few days, a happy Suresh won the competition and became Mr. Madras and of course he went to the Dentist after a week.

So folks, Don’t spit in your commode while you pee!

PS: This is a humble attempt at Story Telling like Sakhi combined with Nikhil’s Whackiness and Rambodoc’s Body Building 101’s with an ending twist of my own style.

PPS: Virtual hits with Rotten eggs and Tomatoes from “Pissed” off readers welcome πŸ™‚


40 thoughts on “The Body Builder

    1. Thank you, that helped for the chutney! But with Eggs I could have had a nice Spanish Omlette! But then I have turned veggie now, so that would be useless too!

  1. Such attempts to popularise dentistry, lavotry and gym-istry…must be lauded. Really ! Atleast the ones that keep the gym a good mile away from their path, can brush their teeth now and feel better off.


  2. Thank God Suresh didn’t poop first. Or else his doctor would surely have diagnosed him as suffering from piles and promptly proceeded to invade his bums in the most unfriendly of manners. I can reasonably assure you that such an attack would have been hideously embarrassing as well as painful for the poor guy, who would have forgotten all about lifting weights and become acutely concerned only about lifting and carrying his sore posteriors around.

  3. Ok, so body builders spit on the commode. Normal people generally do it on the wash-basin.
    The story can be easily be made into an 30 sec ad film of any toothpaste/ toothbrush.
    Or better ad film for a Commode
    Tagline ” Our commodes look to good to spit on “.

  4. Ok, since the past few posts I’ve been double-checking that I’m on the right blog – and then you had to change the blog appearance too. Now I know why you tweet about ‘Lost’!

  5. “The urine flowed out of his body making the noise of a stream of water hitting a pool at an intensity that showed how tall he was.”

    That created quite an image. I keep seeing the Niagara Falls in my mind!

    I liked the story…funny, witty, and with a moral. That’s an Amar Chitra Katha right there.

    1. Man, I think I can sell this to an ad agency πŸ™‚ Good idea! And then I can collect all the eggs and tomatoes and open a huge grocery store chain and become rich!

  6. I know you from Twitter!!! I thought u were gona end saying he drank tomato juice last night and forgot to brush his teeth before sleeping and the spit next day was hence red!! πŸ˜›

    1. You seem to know me very well. The only problem is I missed such a simple idea of using the tomato juice, so it seems you know me better than I know myself. But hey using the Tomatoes I will get from this story, I will make a sequel involving the Tomato juice from these πŸ™‚ How about that!

  7. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜† πŸ˜€ Can’t stop smiling and more coz i found my name up there πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    The best line in the story?? here it is: “The urine flowed out of his body making the noise of a stream of water hitting a pool at an intensity that showed how tall he was.” πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

  8. I absolutely loved your story….haha, midway, I started expecting him to die….or something like that.

    Absolute, story writer…..
    Would try emulating you a bit…

    check my short story….and give me some critical comment…..

    The Black Rose- I, and The Black Rose-II


    1. Thank you.
      I started expecting him to die….or something like that.
      What is a “Something like that” for “die” πŸ™‚
      Would try emulating you a bit…
      The world has enough of me, well atleast the blogosphere, well atleast wordpressnation, well atleast around those who know me through the blog!

      I will check out your story when I find time, Thank you πŸ™‚

  9. Mele oru anonymous friend sonna madiri enna kodumai idu dinesh!
    ana on second thoughts, makes for a good shortstory. Pillayarsuzhi P le aarambikanum sari ippadi PEE le aarambikanuma. heheheh

    1. Thank you Usha πŸ™‚ I know just wanted to do a Kodumai for once, instead of doing Mokkai. I will continue with Mokkai ass soon ass (Spelled correctly) some normalcy is restored.

  10. This is the first time I am commenting here, but I have to say the story sucks big time. It is time for rotten tomatoes.!! So, which dentist are u promoting, eh? πŸ™‚

    1. Great, I feel sorry for you that your first time had to be with Rotten Tomatoes and I take it you are a vegetarian since you didn’t choose Rotten eggs. If I promote a Dentist, what will he/she become? a Surgeon or probably a Ear Nose Specialist since that is what is above our mouth???

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s